some of my thoughts...

If any of you know me well, you know that I am a processor. Generally I don't like it when I am put on the spot for things. Like to pray in a big group without warning me ahead of time... in fact, once last year Kendell asked me in devotions (a group of 50-60 people) to open with prayer and half way through I started to black out... next thing I know Bev is looking at me like 'what is wrong?' Just me panicking is all. :)

You would think that after such a big event such as the Festival last weekend, that I would be writing about it every day, but in this case, there was so much work and so much planning involved for so long, that once it was over, it was almost like "what just happened here?"

All good things, of course.

I needed to process last week and weekend. I needed to reflect on relationships that I have built in this country and if I've been giving them enough time and energy, or if I need to step it up.

I needed to process what it was like to spend a few days around our CEO, to see who he surrounds himself with-- amazing, godly men.

I needed to process if Liberia is truly ready for a revival in this country, and what its future holds.

I needed to process the event as a whole- the amazing 1500 person choir, the Liberian music, the Tommy Coomes Band, the fast fingers of Dennis Agajanian, the excitement in the stadium.

I needed to process how powerful the simple message of the Gospel is, yet how we try to complicate it so often, and then we are too afraid to share it.

I needed to process the beautiful scene of people literally running to the alter.

I needed to process where my own heart is.

I needed to process how my love for Liberia has changed into a deep love for Liberians. How my heart can literally hurt for the people here and the injustices they suffer every day.

Last week and weekend really was amazing. The conversations, opportunities and growth that happened for thousands of Liberians, and myself, was just plain awesome. At the same time it was hard.

It's hard to meet someone right where they are at in their hurting. It's much easier to distance yourself from that pain and move on through life. It's easy to do that here. Every day I am faced with stories and people at my door with a sad story. People with needs. Day after day of this and it's easy to become calloused to what they are going through. Easy to get frustrated at another request for money.

Tonight, I received a phone call from one of my friends who sells carvings for a living. His wife was in labor, but was unable to deliver so she needs an operation. He was calling for help. To make a long story short, we were talking on my porch and he said to me, "If everything goes well, and the baby is healthy when it is born, you can have him to raise as a thank you from me!" I shook my head and said, "I don't need a baby to raise! You just go get your wife to the hospital!"

I thank God for people like Bob Pierce, who founded Samaritan's Purse. I thank God that he recognized that in this line of work, it is easy to distance yourself from the pain and suffering you see every single day. I thank God for the prayer that he prayed, "God, break my heart for what breaks yours."

And honestly, I thank God for answering that prayer for me. May He keep my heart from hardening.